Week 2 NFL Preview

Week 2 brings some interesting games throughout the league. It also still has some shitty games but that’s football. But we run through every game here.

Ravens at Bengals

    Sauce: Ravens

    AlecTheAccountant: Ravens

    Bshan: Ravens, “Although it would be very Ravens-like to get blown out by the Bengals”

     Flan: Ravens, “Can’t tell how good they really are after stomping the worst team in the league but Andy Dalton is a fraud”

    El Capitano: Ravens, “I am going to put so much money on Joe Flacco and the Ravens I may die trying”

    Burt: Ravens, “I hate joe Flacco, but roll ravens”

    Dimes: Bengals, “I took the Bengals and I hate myself”

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Chiefs at Steelers

    Sauce: Chiefs, “they always get the best of Big Ben Roethlisberger

    AlecTheAccountant: “ummmm” Steelers  

    Flan: Chiefs, “very good start for them, embarrassing start for the Steelers”

    El Capitano: Chiefs, If you aren’t all over Chiefs Moneyline you should probably launch

    Bshan: Steelers. “Vegas wants you to bet chiefs. And that’s scaring me.

    Burt: Chiefs

    Dimes: Steelers, “Cheifs cover steelers win”

Dolphins at Jets

    Sauce: Jets

    AlecTheAccountant: J.E.T.S

    Flan: Jets

    El Capitano: Jets, “MVP Darnold and the Jets put on another clinic”

    Bshan: Jets

    Burt: Jets

    Dimes: Jets, Id rather watch gay porn than watch this game but Jets”

Eagles at Buccaneers

    Sauce: Eagles, “Fitzpatrick can’t win two big games in a row.”

    AlecTheAccountant: Eagles

    Flan: Eagles

    El Capitano: Buccaneers, “Eagles can suck a fat one after last week, roll Fitzpatrick and the pirates from Tampa”

    Bshan: Eagles

    Burt: Eagles

    Dimes: Birds

Browns at Saints

     Sauce: Saints

     AlecTheAccountant: Saints

     Flan: Saints

     El Capitano: Saints, “Browns got lucky last week but might cover here”

     Bshan:  Saints. “It will be closer than we thought though”

     Burt: Saints, “the browns won’t stop em.”

     Dimes: Saints, “Saints will win but Im def betting the browns money line”

Colts at Redskins

    Sauce: Redskins

    AlecTheAccountant: Skins

    Flan: Colts

    El Capitano: Redskins, “Cowboy Smith is gonna saddle up these Colts by 20”

    Bshan: Colts

    Burt: Skins

    Dimes; Skins

Chargers at Bills

    Sauce: Chargers, “the Bills STINK”

    AlecTheAccountant: Chargers, “Phil the Drill”

    Flan: Chargers

    El Capitano: Chargers, “Bills go 0-16 hot take”

    Bshan: Chargers. “Bills suck”

    Burt: Chargers 

    Dimes: Chargers

A rodg

Vikings at Packers

    Sauce: Packers

    AlecTheAccountant: Vikings

    Flan: Vikings

    El Capitano: Vikings

    Bshan: Packers

    Burt: Packers, “I hate Aaron Rogers but go pack”

    Dimes: Pack

Panthers at Falcons

     Sauce: Panthers

     AlecTheAccountant: Panthers

     Flan: Panthers, “ML +195 HAMMER”

     El Capitano: Panthers, “SHOW ME THE MONEY JERRY MAQUIRE, Matty Ice has a cold clam”

     Bshan:  Falcons.  “Cam Newton steals computers”

     Burt: Panthers

     Dimes: Panthers

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Texans at Titans

    Sauce: Texans, “Marcus Mariota is so overrated”

    AlecTheAccountant: Texans.. “Watson bounces back from a tough day against New England”

    Flan: Texans, “Texans by 10”

    El Capitano: Texans, “Watson is the best play to ever set foot in the ACC”

    Bshan: Texans

    Burt: Texans

    Dimes: Titans

Cardinals at Rams

    Sauce: Rams

    AlecTheAccountant: LA Rams

    Flan: Rams

    El Capitano: Rams, “Cardinals 0-16”

   Bshan: Rams

   Burt: Rams

   Dimes: Rams

Lions at 49ers

    Sauce: Lions, “Matt Stafford is elite as fuck. Come to New England when Tom’s gone.”

    AlecTheAccountant: Lions, “Once again, couldn’t have said it better myself ^^”

    Flan: 49ers, “Jimmy will bounce back”

    El Capitano: 49ers, “Jimmy needs a little California sun to get back in the swing of things”

    Bshan: Lions

    Burt: Lions,Lions in a come back week”

    Dimes: 49ers, “Jimmy G”

Raiders at Broncos

    Sauce: Broncos

    AlecTheAccountant: Raiders

    Flan: Broncos

    El Capitano: Broncos,This will be a bloodbath”

    Bshan: Broncos.

    Burt: Raiders

    Dimes: Raiders

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Patriots at Jaguars

     Sauce: Jaguars, “See you in January”

     AlecTheAccountant: Patriots

     Flan: Patriots, “Blake Bortles is not good, nor will he ever will be”

     El Capitano: Patriots, “Fuck you Jalen Ramsey”

     Bshan: Patriots

     Burt: Patriots

    Dimes: Patriots, “Put your parents house on Tom and Bill”

Giants at Cowboys

     Sauce: Giants, “the Cowboys looked awful against the Panthers”

     AlecTheAccountant: Giants

     Flan: Cowboys, “such an irrelevant game”

     El Capitano: Giants, “Jerrys World will go up and flames and Garret will be on the hot seat”

     Bshan: Giants

     Burt: Giants

     Dimes: G-men

Seahawks at Bears

    Sauce: Da Bears

     AlecTheAccountant: Hawks.. “Toughest game of the week

     Flan: Bears, “idk

     El Capitano: Bears, “Khalil Mack with the handoff to Ditka, its a hook and ladder to Uralcher, TOUCHDOWN Trubitsky, I don’t know it’s gunna be a weird one”

    Bshan: BearsLove that deep-dish. Gimme Chicago

    Burt: Bears

     Dimes- Da Bears

 

Overall Records:

    1.Capitano: 10-5-1

    2.Willis Dimes: 9-6-1

  1. BShan: 9-6-1

    2.Flan: 9-6-1

5.Burt: 8-7-1

6. Sauce: 7-8-1

7. AlecTheAccountant: 6-9-1

Fuck you Chris.

Week 2 NFL Power Rankings

  1. Los Angeles Rams 1-0 (1)
  2. Minnesota Vikings 1-0 (2)

     The Vikings struggled at times against the 49ers but with their talent, it’s hard to move them down.

  1. New England Patriots 1-0 (5)
  2. Philadelphia Eagles 1-0 (4)
  3. Carolina Panthers 1-0 (9)
  4. Jacksonville Jaguars 1-0 (10)
  5. New Orleans Saints 0-1 (3)

    The Saints lost to the worst team in football, which is reason for concern in New Orleans.

  1. Green Bay Packers 1-0 (12)

Aaron Rodgers led a phenomenal comeback on SNF…but they were only playing the Bears

  1. Kansas City Chiefs 1-0 (16)
  2. Pittsburgh Steelers 0-0-1 (7)
  3. Los Angeles Chargers 0-1 (8)
  4. Atlanta Falcons 0-1 (6)

    The Falcons stunk it up on opening night. Let’s see if Matt Ryan can bounce back.

  1. Houston Texans 0-1 (11)
  2. Baltimore Ravens 1-0 (18)
  3. Denver Broncos 1-0 (20)

    The Broncos make a jump as they beat the Seahawks, let’s see if they can keep it up.

  1. New York Giants 0-1 (14)
  2. Tennessee Titans 0-1 (13)
  3. Seattle Seahawks 0-1 (17)

19.Washington Redskins 1-0 (25)

    Alex Smith looked good in his Redskin’s debut, can the Redskins make the playoffs?

  1. Dallas Cowboys 0-1 (15)

    Dallas struggled heavily on offense without Dez Bryant, they need some help and fast.

  1. New York Jets 1-0 (26)
  2. Detroit Lions 0-1 (19)
  3.  Oakland Raiders 0-1 (21)
  4. Cleveland Browns 0-0-1 (22)
  5. San Francisco 49ers 0-1 (23)

    Terrible opener for Jimmy G but somehow only lost to the Vikings by 8???

  1. Cincinnati Bengals 1-0 (28)
  2. Chicago Bears 0-1 (24)
  3. Arizona Cardinals 0-1 (27)

    Sam Bradford was GOD AWFUL in his debut for the Cardinals. When is it Josh Rosen’s turn?

  1. Miami Dolphins 1-0 (31)
  2. Indianapolis Colts 0-1 (29)

    No one expected much from the Colts even with Andrew Luck.

31.Tampa Bay Buccaneers 1-0 (32)

  1. Buffalo Bills 0-1 (30)

I am sick to my stomach after watching tonights “Football Game”

Have a fucking flag why don’t you. This game SUCKED, possibly one of the worst football games that I have ever watched. It was almost like neither team wanted to win the game just trading sacks and interceptions.

This shit fight started off really hot with the Falcons pissing away an opening touchdown drive by getting stuffed on 4th down and the rest of the half was just a mixture of disgusting football and dick for of quarterback play and 2 field goals for 43-year-old Matt Bryant and 1 field goal for Jake Elliott.

The second half was not much better for the two Quarterbacks, Matt Ryan and his jello arm threw a HUGE interception in the red zone late in the 3rd quarter, which was then followed up by a Nick Foles interception. The rest of the game ended with three rushing touchdowns, 2 for Jay Ajai and 1 for Tevin Coleman. The Falcons had their chance to walk it off with a buzzer-beating touchdown but Matt Ryan just threw 4 uncatchable balls inside the 5-yard line.

This game makes that Superbowl loss for the Patriots hurt that much more. Nick Foles…. are you kidding??? Nick Foles went 19/34 passing the ball with 117 yards and an interception tonight. 6 months ago that bum won a Superbowl MVP and threw for 373 yards and 3 fucking touchdowns against Tom Bady’s Patriots. I just mentally got over that Superbowl loss and now I am back to being triggered as fuck. Also, If I have to watch the “Philly Speical” again I will LAUNCH.

I had the Falcons +1 parlayed with the Under of 45. That’s on me.

Week 1 Preview by Spin Factory

Spin Factory went through every game and chose the winner of each game and even a little feedback. It’s certainly amazing to have football back, it almost seems like life is about to get back on track here. Let us know what you think:

Falcons at Eagles

     Sauce: Falcons, “The Super Bowl Hangover Begins, it’s not even gonna be close either”

      Bshan: Eagles

       Flan: Falcons, “Flying with the Falcons”

       El Capitano: Eagles, What are you stupid?? FIGHT EAGLES FIGHT”

       Dimes: Falcons, Matt Ryan and the Falcons will curbstomp the Eagles.”

       Burt: Falcons, “Nick Foles stinks, Super Bowl was a fluke. Roll Falcons”

       AlectheAccountant: Falcons, “Matty ice is out for some vengeance. Nick Foles is boring. Falcons by 10”

Bengals at Colts

      Sauce: Bengals

      Bshan: Bengals

       Flan: Colts

        El Capitano: Colts, “<3 Andrew Luck”

        Dimes: Bengals, This game will be a shit fight but I’m bowling with the Bengals.”

        Burt: Bengals, Fuck this game”

        AlecTheAccountant: Colts, Luck is back baby. I bet the Colts all last year with Jacoby ..don’t test me. Colts all day”

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Bills at Ravens

      Sauce: Bills, “Joe Flacco plays horrible and the Lamar Jackson rumors flourish”

      Bshan: Bills “(probably gonna change this one in a by next week)”

       Flan: Ravens

       El Capitano: Ravens, Ravens by 24″

       Dimes: Ravens, Ravens by triple digits”

       Burt: Ravens, “I mean is this a question”

       AlecTheAccountant: Ravens

Buccaneers at Saints

      Sauce: Saints

      Bshan: Saints

       Flan: Saints

       El Capitano: Saints

       Dimes: Saints, Ryan Fitzpatrick lol. Saints by a lot of touchdowns.”

       Burt: Saints, “This game could have been fun but Saints”

       AlecTheAccountant: Saints *(pray hand emojis)

Texans at Patriots

      Sauce: Patriots, “I’ve never been to a Patriots game in which they lost, 13-0” 

      Bshan: Patriots

       Flan: Patriots

       El Capitano: Patriots

        Dimes: Patriots, Tom Brady”

        Burt: Patriots, “we don’t lose two in a row”

         AlecTheAccountant: Patriots, This has game of the week written all over it. Go Pats”

49ers at Vikings

      Sauce: Vikings

      Bshan: Vikings

       Flan: Vikings

       El Capitano: Vikings

        Dimes: Vikings,Vikings win. 49ers cover”

        Burt: Vikings

         AlecTheAccountant: Vikings, I love Jimmy G this year but he’s in for a wake up call. Vikings defense wins it.”

Titans at Dolphins

      Sauce: Titans

      Bshan: Titans

       Flan: Titans

       El Capitano: Titans

       Dimes: Titans

        Burt: Titans

        AlecTheAccountant: Titans, “Remember Patriot fans were scared for one quarter last year in the playoffs.”

JR

Jaguars at Giants

       Sauce: Giants, “Fuck the Jaguars, they get a rude awakening Week 1.”

        Bshan: Jaguars

        Flan: Jaguars

         El Capitano: Jaguars, “Both teams suck”

         Dimes: Giants.

         Burt: Giants, “Jalen Ramsey talks too much” 

         AlecTheAccountant: Giants, I have Barkley and OBJ in one of my fantasy leagues. Giants please and thank you”

Steelers at Browns

      Sauce: Steelers

      Bshan: Steelers

       Flan: Steelers 

        El Capitano: Steelers

        Dimes: Browns, Because they deserve one”

        Burt: Steelers

        AlecTheAccountant: Steelers, “Rumors of Bell not playing week one. Big fan of the browns thanks to Hard Knocks but I’m going Black and Yellow here.”

Chiefs at Chargers

       Sauce: Chargers

       Bshan: Chargers

         Flan: Chiefs

        El Capitano: Chargers

        Dimes: Chiefs

        Burt: Chargers, Chargers all day”

        AlecTheAccountant: Chargers, “Phil the Drill”

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Cowboys at Panthers

       Sauce: Cowboys, “Probably the toughest game to choose from this week, Zeke has a day”

        Bshan: Panthers

        Flan: ummmmmmmm” Cowboys

        El Capitano: Panthers,Jerry’s boys take an L”

         Dimes: Panthers, “Lots of points in this one”

         Burt: Panthers, “In a blow out”

        AlecTheAccountant: Panthers, “Cam Newton is ripped.”

Redskins at Cardinals

       Sauce: Redskins

        Bshan: Redskins

        Flan: Redskins

       El Capitano: Skins

       Dimes: Cardinals, Sammy No ACL will lead the Cards by the Skins”

       Burt: Skins

       AlecTheAccountant: Cardinals, David Johnson is back, Cardinals in a close one.”

Seahawks at Broncos

       Sauce: Broncos

       Bshan: Seahawks

        Flan: Broncos

        El Capitano: Broncos

        Dimes:Broncos, Broncos by a TD”

         Burt: Seahawks

        AlecTheAccountant: Seahawks

Bears at Packers

       Sauce: Packers

        Bshan: Packers

        Flan: Packers

        El Capitano: Packers, “Discount double check the Packers by a million in this one”

         Dimes: Packers

         Burt: Packers

         AlecTheAccountant: Packers, THAT’S A BAD MAN”

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Jets at Lions

       Sauce: Lions, “Matt Stafford proves on National TV why he’s a legitimate MVP Candidate”

        Bshan: Lions

       Flan: Lions

        El Capitano: Lions

        Dimes: Lions

        Burt: Lions, “easily”

        AlecTheAccountant: Lions, ^What Sauce said”

Rams at Raiders

       Sauce: Rams, “They might go undefeated this year”

       Bshan: Rams, “I think Derek Carr is probably bad”

       Flan: Rams

       El Capitano: Rams

       Dimes: Rams

        Burt: Rams, “easy money”  

        AlecTheAccountant: Rams, “But don’t count out Oakland at home.”

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UPSET of the Week:

       Sauce: Giants over Jaguars, “Not too sure about the Jaguars this year and the Giants still have a tough team. We’ll see.”

Flan: “Not too many upsets but I think the Chiefs take  game 1 over the Chargers, but the Chargers have the better season”

        El Capitano: “If I wasn’t such a cock sucker and didn’t care about my record. I’m going big upsets with the Browns and 49’ers”

        Dimes: “The Bengals are going to embarass the Colts and that sissy Andrew Luck.”

         Burt: “The Browns over the Steelers. No leveon, and baker leads a comeback in the second half to take em to the promise land”

         AlecTheAccountant: “Not to sure if this is an upset since they are at home but the Cardinals.”

NFL Power Rankings 1-32

1. Los Angeles Rams

Best team in the NFL on Paper. Let’s see if they can produce on the field.

2. Minnesota Vikings 

3. New Orleans Saints

4. Philadelphia Eagles

No Wentz to start the season, Let’s see the Eagles on the field first before we start talking repeat.

5. New England Patriots

Lots of holes for the Patriots but having the best player in the World can always negate that.

6. Atlanta Falcons

7. Pittsburgh Steelers

8. Los Angeles Chargers

9. Carolina Panthers

The Panthers are still good. Their defense looked improved in the Preseason and Newton/McCaffery combo is versatile.

10. Jacksonville Jaguars

11. Houston Texans

Texans get Watson and Watt back, sign the Honeybadger and will certainly be a tough outing come AFC Playoffs.

12. Green Bay Packers

13. Tennessee Titans

14. New York Giants

The Eagles should watch out for the Giants this year. Odell is back and will look better than ever.

15. Dallas Cowboys

16. Kansas City Chiefs

17. Seattle Seahawks

18. Baltimore Ravens

19. Detroit Lions

The Lions have a great chance to climb this board depending on the play of Matt Football Stafford.

20. Denver Broncos

21. Oakland Raiders

Without Khalil Mack, the Raiders defense is bad at-best. Their offense struggled heavily last year so let’s see what Jon Gruden is made of.

22. Cleveland Browns

23. San Francisco 49ers

Jimmy G improves San Fran a little bit but not too much. Still way too many holes on that team.

24. Chicago Bears

25. Washington Redskins

26. New York Jets

27. Arizona Cardinals

28. Cincinnati Bengals

The Bengals are BAD, and Andy Dalton struggled heavily last year. Marvin Lewis isn’t getting any better with age either.

29. Indianapolis Colts

30. Buffalo Bills

The Bills are garbage and the news of Nathan Peterman starting makes them even worse.

31. Miami Dolphins

32. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

I expect Tampa Bay to be the worst team in football this year. No Winston the first 3 games is going to hurt them a lot too.

Top 10 NFL Quarterbacks

Quarterback is the toughest position in all of sports. You gotta be the leader on and off the field, have to be respected and most importantly you have to perform when it matters most. This list is based off pure/raw talent, last year’s performance and a little foreshadowing when it comes to this year. Here it is:

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10. Andrew Luck

Luck gets a lot of shit thrown his way, but let’s be honest. When this guy is healthy he is elite. Guy led an average-at best team around him to an AFC Championship only a few years ago, was a former first overall pick and if he is able to stay healthy this year, there is no reason he shouldn’t be mentioned in the Top-10 conversation. With another terrible team around him, I don’t see the Colts making much noise this year.

9. Deshaun Watson

Watson was able to show us flashes of greatness last year before he went down. New year, the Texans are healthy and should be a legitimate AFC contender. With Watson at the helm, a guy who can both throw and run the ball with great efficiency, it gives opposing defenses tremendous disadvantages. Watson has a tough test right out of the gate against the Patriots and I’m sure he will not disappoint.

8. Philip Rivers

I love Phil the Drill and I was so tempted to have him a little higher on the list cause the guy just produces. No matter what team he has had around him, Rivers has always found a way to produce. I think the Chargers have a chance to make some noise this year and Philip Rivers will be a huge part of that as he climbs the all-time record books. You heard it here first, Chargers to the Super Bowl this year.

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7. Matthew Stafford

Just like Rivers, I LOVE Matt Stafford. Guy can absolutely sling the ball, has the strongest arm in the NFL, hands down. He’s gonna have close to 5,000 yards almost every year but I’d like to see the Lions in the playoffs and how he would perform. In a tough division, it’s going to be hard to do but I think the Lions are up for the task.

6. Matt Ryan

Two years removed from an MVP season, Matt Ryan is looking to prove he ain’t a one year wonder. Ryan has shown he can be good at most times but has yet to prove he can be great at all times. I expect the Falcons to have another great year, but will they be able to go over the hump? If so, I think Matt Ryan has another MVP-caliber season.

 

5. Russell Wilson

Hmmm Russell Wilson, where do I start? Number 1 fantasy QB last year, and in an offense that clearly revolves around only him, I expect that stat to be the same this year. There’s no doubt Wilson is one of the best talents in the league with his ability to avoid the rush and sling the ball. Never gets hurt, great leader all around. I don’t expect the Seahawks to be any good this year but Wilson will make them worth the watch. If it wasn’t for a costly Super Bowl interception (by Malcolm Butler, at the goal line) he could be higher on this list.

4. Carson Wentz

Hate to put any Eagles on any of my lists, but this dude Carson Wentz can ball. His injury concerns me this season as Foles was named the starter for Week 1 which means Wentz probably isn’t fully healthy. You would hate to see a QB with this talent crumble early in his career due to injury (see Andrew Luck). Wentz has one of the strongest arms in the league, one of the highest Football IQs and is a big boy that takes a lot to get taken down. I think the Eagles have a chance at repeating but only if this man plays. If Foles plays more than 4 games, the Eagles could have a very rough year on their hands.

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3. Drew Brees

This man doesn’t get enough credit at all. He’s Top 5 in all statistical categories that relate to a Quarterback, All-Time. Always finds himself atop the passing yards league leader. If he was able to find the endzone a bit more, he could definitely be one spot higher on this list. But the Saints haven’t been to the Super Bowl since 2010 (lowkey great Super Bowl) and this year might be there best chance in a long time to win the damn thing. People talk about Tom Brady defying odds with age but this guy is out here doing similar things. Give credit where its due.

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2. Aaron Rodgers

Just received the biggest contract in NFL History when it comes to annual average and guaranteed money. Deservingly so. We have never ever seen a talent like Aaron Rodgers come around before and likely we will never see again. The reason he isn’t number 1 is because he often comes up short in playoff games and while this is a “right now” list as opposed to all-time, when you have two QBS with as much talent as these two, you gotta put that into factor. But there’s no man in all of sports I am more scared of to play than that BAAAAAAD MAN Aaron Rodgers.

  1. Tom Brady

Coming off another MVP season at age 40, 41 year old Tom Brady is looking to do it again. As a Patriots fan, this guy is fucking invincible. I don’t think I need to go on and on about how great this guy is but I have a question for all of you : Knowing what we know now, 4 years ago, would you give Tom Brady the same contract Aaron Rodgers was given recently? 4 years ago at age 36/37, he’s gone on to 3 of the last 4 Super Bowls, winning two of them, an MVP and 4 AFC Championship appearances, I don’t know how you don’t give him that money.

 

People I kept off the list cause they are overrated (@ me) : Ben Roethlisberger and Cam Newton, they stink at throwing the football.

Day 1 of Being Homeless

Being homeless ain’t all it’s set out to be. You feel like you stink (even though you just showered), you are tired as fuck (with nowhere to take a nap) and all your dogs aren’t there. To be honest, it’s fucking terrible and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. But I guess that’s what you get for having your life dedicated to “spinning”. Spinning started out as like a fun thing to do but now it is like constant spinning going on in my head. I don’t know if it has anything to do with being homeless but fuck it.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned today, is beggers can’t be choosers or you get what you get and you don’t get upset. I feel like I’ve said that to just about anyone that has offered a helping hand. I don’t really have a choice in the matter.

I guess you know you are from Boston when you’re homeless and you’ve been to Dunkin’ Donuts four times in one day. 4 times, no joke. I guess as a homeless man with free Dunkin’ Donuts at his disposal ain’t too bad. Besides there are many people out there who have been homeless much longer than me and have struggled much longer. So I really don’t have anything to complain about. Besides the fact that I think I stink, I can’t take beloved 3-hour nap, and I feel like a mooch.

Now accepting cash gifts on Venmo @Gerard-Saucier

Thanks.